“At the threshold of growth, we smile bravely at our children and say “go” though our hearts whisper “stay” as the door closes behind them.”
This day began just like any other. I woke up with Jake, my first-born, nuzzled up close to me. He does this almost every night. He wakes up, needs to use the restroom, and then, instead of returning to his bed, almost always seeks out mine to snuggle away the last few hours before daybreak.
Only, today was different.
Today is August 27th. It is the first day of school. Summer vacation is over, and, with its warm amber glow, fades the period of Jake’s baby years.
I just left Bubba in his K3 classroom. I have looked forward to these days. They will be the longest period of his childhood. He will learn to read and write, to throw and catch a ball. He will make friends and, unfortunately, enemies. He will also begin to be “too big” for certain things; sippy cups, sitting in my lap, being called, “Bubba.”
It is on these magical milestones that I become a little nostalgic. We left school early on Thursday 02/26/2009 for Amy’s weekly checkup. After being examined by the doctor, she was sent to Chesapeake General Hospital and admitted at 3:30 p.m. They monitored her until 6:00 a.m. when they decided to put her on pitosin and epidural. She lay in the bed all day without much happening. Around 9:00 a.m. she was getting nauseated. The nurse came in and put some medicine in the IV. However, she unhooked the pitosin; it continued to run out on the floor for the next eight hours. Finally, and on her own, she got to ten cm and was ready to push. Jake was still very high though, so it would be a long process. Amy pushed for two hours, when the doctor realized Jake was turned wrong. They rushed Amy to O.R. and performed an emergency c-section. Jake was born at 6:21 p.m. He was 8 pounds 8 ounces, 20.5 inches long.
That was the scariest day of our married lives to that point. But what came from it has been amazing! Bubba is one of the great joys of my life. He is my “main man.” Every “first” of parenting, I have experienced with him.
But this “first” seems really hard for some reason. Maybe because there is no return to the little baby that slept on my chest, or signs “I love you” everyday as I leave. He will no longer be waiting at home to scream “DADDY!” and hug my legs as I come through the door. He’ll be coming through the door with me…
I like to think about these days, so I appreciate all he’s done in this time.
First word: Momma
First movie: Toy Story
Favorite superhero: Spiderman
Security toy: Giraffe
First time on a plane: Flying to Tennessee
Favorite dinner: Chicken nuggets.
Favorite fictional character: Buzz Lightyear
Current obsession: The “Tide” (Public Transportation)
First Bible Verse Memorized: Proverbs 3:5
Funny thing he says: “Come ON!!!” and “Really, Daddy? Really?”
It would take me all day to chronicle every special moment that I have shared with him in the last three years. We went to Jacksonville, FL and saw the poor little trailer park that I was born into. Just last weekend we saw, together, mine and Amy’s first tiny apartment. We shared his first cotton candy at his first baseball game after his first train ride! Many of these things he will not remember…but I will.
The baby years haven’t just been fun, they’ve been epic.
As Jake goes to school today, I will try to reassure myself that this is natural; all a part of growing up. He’ll still be my boy, he just won’t be my baby…
And so begins my list of things he’ll accomplish in his school years.
It’s been fun, Bubba. I love you.